When a tense moment starts veering toward conflict, the argument may focus on the “facts” at hand, but couples are rarely arguing only about what is being said in the moment. Each person is also monitoring the micro-movements, tone, and cadence of the other person, looking for signs of safety or threat. Is it safe enough to engage with softness and vulnerability, or do we need to protect ourselves? When your attachment system detects threat, your brain and body organize aroun

Most couples want to feel like a team. But when criticism or hurt feelings enter the picture, even the most loving partners can get stuck. In couples therapy, something we frequently come back to is how marriages are stronger when we approach them as a team—including when upsetting situations play out. On a practical level, couples can put the “team” concept into action by sending signals that their partner’s experiences matter—that they are willing to be curious, engaged, an

ADHD in relationships can amplify the intensity and positivity of connection — and it can also magnify challenges . Many ADHD-impacted...